Comment:
I am deeply and chronically lonely…any thoughts? I need…help………

Hello,

Chronically lonely is much like a symptom of depression. There is feeling of alone and being lonely; both are different. Feeling alone is being isolated – like being happy when everyone else is sad. Loneliness is an empty, depressed feeling and if it drags on too long it is definitely depression. You may or may not need meds to pull out of it. Loneliness can also stem from learned behaviors you grew up with…..you learned this way of being from your parent(s). There are many sources, but I can feel confident in saying it is a form of depression.

My best,
Patty Ann

http://bipolarfriend.com/

The saga of my son’s prison days continues to unfold. I learned that it was not only the hospital who turned my son away when he explicitly asked for help, BUT the doctor who saw him turned him away. What is wrong with our medical community? Are they untrained in bipolar? Are they overworked and don’t care? What, what, and more what? It is certainly not the first time for our family.

It is a sad, sad statement for any clinic or hospital to turn away any (mental) patient….especially when they come asking for help. And in my son’s case he was referred by a nurse from another clinic.

Holes. Wherever we look there are holes so deep the personnel cannot begin to fill them. The institutions that govern their workers are inept at steering their own ship. It’s a wonder more folks don’t perish inside their walls.

What is the answer to this apathetic dilemma? The solution cannot be that hard. It is just procedural with a bit of compassion and empathy thrown into the mix. Readers, any ideas? Please comment!

My son went to jail recently. A severe bipolar episode sent him there. He did not recall beating up his partner of many years. They have 3 children so this type of behavior was not voluntarily induced. Rather, stress brought on this hyper manic state.

Heroes of bipolar are not always bipolar. My son’s partner, who was beat to ch*t, took the high road. She took this opportunity to teach others about bipolar. Rather than reliving the drama behind this event she rose to the challenges offered. She brought awareness to her communities, both in her home town and online. And she spoke to the hospital’s CEO….a place that turned my son away when he went there for help. Holding no malice she has used this event to educate. Applause goes to “C” as she is a woman of true grit, with a compassionate heart.

My son who sits in jail is also a hero. His actions seen by some as horrific, have set an example for what can go wrong when a local hospital turned him away when he sought help. This is also a sampling of a disease gone rampant when left untreated. My son did not fair well, but he is spiritual and knows the universe has a higher plan for him. And thank god he, too, is strong.

When people converge in a happenstance that looks ugly from the onset, much good can manifest. In this case a community rallied. Bipolar awareness was raised. And an ordinary family that was mentally and emotionally shredded rose above the ruins to demonstrate their strength. True integrity and character often comes from being challenged.

Bipolar people are triggered by stress. It comes in all shapes, forms, sizes, and via electronic sources designed to make companies money.

Today’s society contributes stress any which way it can and from any direction. Some call it a conspiracy on mankind. I tend to agree.

Look at the ways in which society detracts us from our original peaceful natures. This list comes in no particular order….

Politics
Facebook
Text-ing
I-pods
TV
Movies
Any media. The news + more
Opinions
Internet
Infomercials
There is more……so much more

You see a pattern here? Stress is caused by confusing the mind and any type of media disrupts it. Just ask anyone teaching school now. It is impossible to teach and compete with kids text-ing under the desk. While some of these items seem harmless, none are. Take Facebook. A social, supposedly simple, fun media to exchange pictures. Have you seen how ugly it has become? It is like those driving fools behind the wheel of their car who go mad. Keyboard fanatics use social media as a free license to say irresponsible crap. Words are slung like mud without care. It’s ugly. Many of my friends are now off Facebook. I thought it would be a good tool to educate and inform others. However, I don’t believe that is why people visit Fb anymore. They just cannot resist digging for the latest gossip.

Social media in general has taken a turn to the dark side. Whether the makers instigated this direction or not, is not known. If you are bipolar I strongly suggest eliminating these things out of your life….not all at once, but certainly the ones you are addicted to. At least limit time on these devices.

Challenge yourself to try it for a week and see the freedom, the peace, and then see the time returned back into your life.

It is a nightmare repeating itself.

Thirty years ago my father was turned away from the hospital when he was in full blown mania. One of my siblings plus myself had to then cope with his mood swings, coerce pills into him, and babysit him until exhausted. We were ill equipped.

Fast forward to my older brother. His medical doc misdiagnosed his bipolar. He killed himself.

Two years ago I asked my brother’s psychiatrist to intervene and help. I believed suicide was imminent. She did nothing. Not even a simple courtesy call. My younger brother killed himself.

Three days ago my son was high with mania. In a lucid moment he went to ER to ask for help. They sent him away without treatment. He went ballistic and beat his partner.

See a pattern here?

When the system fails, who pays? Families. Broken lives are shattered in ways beyond repair. Does any medical professional really care anymore? Or are they just doing their time and picking up a paycheck? When these events occur it does raise awareness, temporarily. Nothing seems to get accomplished. Or does it?

Awareness is the first step to change which happens all too slowly at times. But it is one step forward by all of us. And that is a start.

A man, which happens to be my son, is in jail for beating his partner, unjustifiably so. He goes for evaluation into a hospital first, and then is put in jail.

This man has never hurt another person in his life. He has bipolar disorder which went rampant > and escaped diagnosis. Now he is in the county jail awaiting sentencing.

Should he be left to fester in his bipolar state, or should he get treatment? Should he be in jail or a hospital? What do you think?

Read Tyler’s story. Contribute to the comments. Let’s take a stance for society’s treatment of bipolar.

http://www.oregonherald.com/oregon/local.cfm?id=3508

And so it begins. I live a few hours out from my son and his jail. Probably just as well. There is a lot one can accomplish over the phone.

Wanting to know what is what naturally I want to talk to my son. Did you know even talking to him requires an outside vendor? A person has to set up a prepaid account from a vendor that is located in outer world somewhere. They charge $7.95 each time you add money to this account; a connection fee of $1.58 and 11 cents per minute + tax. After the fees are taken out you don’t get much talk time.

The phone vendor doesn’t even process your transaction. They ask you to call another number to pay via credit card. I did. And I won a Bahamas cruise for two. I was so dumbfounded that I stupidly hung up. Then I called the other vendor back and told him what happened. He could not stop laughing. Said I made his day. Two numbers were transposed.

So the word will get out to my son and tomorrow he can call. He only gets 1 hour a day out of his cell to take care of essentials. I pressed on and called the jail, mental health, and spouted that my son needs treatment. They don’t even know he is sick and needs help. I will not stop until someone takes note to help him.

Yes, he did a bad, bad deed. That was not his picture in that mugshot, but one of a tormented soul. Hopefully he will get the help he needs.

It is a shock to see your child in the newspaper > as a mug shot. Surreal really. My son who went off the bipolar deep end manifested himself as a tyrant. He beat his partner in the middle of the night and 2 neighbor men had to restrain him until the police came to cart him off. My son was and is not in his right mind, for normally he is a gentle giant.

He does not get excused for his behavior or for letting himself slip into this horribly manic state. As a consequence he was first admitted to a hospital and promptly taken to jail. My gut instinct tells me that he was not diagnosed bipolar and he is still not on meds. So I intervened.

I called the jail to inquire. Of course that &#*% privacy law to ‘protect’ us limits any details to his condition or treatment. So I called the medical department and left an extensive message. My only concern is that he gets treated so he can get on the road to recovery before he is let out of jail.

The system is scary because most of the time it fails us. It failed my late brother. It failed my father and my other suicide brother. Bipolar is often overlooked and goes untreated. Manic patients typically do not tell anyone about their problem. Gone undiagnosed, a fire flares.

It is not for me to change the course of fate. But I will influence it with information. This is the only way I can help right now.

My son went to the hospital last night. In full blown mania 5 police escorted him from home and straight to the mental ward. This is what I understood to have happened. I was absent. I have not seen my son for 2 years, or my daughter for that matter. So when I got a phone call from him last week I was surprised, and not.

Why can’t a person just pick up the phone and call under good circumstances? Instead my son’s guilt over his mistreatment to me during and following my divorce weighed on his guilty conscious. It was one of many stresses to kick his emotional/physical balance off kilter.

We had 3 conversations within 2 days. Our last talk was where I drew my boundary. I wrote him a text that said: “I cannot take your calls. It’s not healthy for me or you. After you take your meds and get healthy will will talk. Know that I love you. Only you can help you. My best, Mom.”

See, by enabling him to continue to babble on he would not get better and by me listening to his manic nonsense I would be condoning his unhealthy spot. So I quit listening for my health, and his.

Next call = my son has been forcible taken to the hospital. In a mania overdose he beat his partner badly. He is under the state’s care now, which is good and safe for everyone. Hospitals and jails are good places sometimes.

Truly I am sorry that my son is carrying on the family genetics. It pains me deeply. The last thing a parent wants to see is their kid suffer the fate of their own. But, relation or not, every bipolar person must learn their limits and make a choice to take charge of their own life. And, that is the bottom line. Granted, it is often difficult with bipolar as mood swings can take on a life of their own.

This thread will be continued, not as an expose, but as a means for education for all.

Here is today’s bipolar question: Does bipolar increase a person’s sex drive?

Answer: Yes, it can if one is climbing into a mania state. No, if one is sliding into a depressed state. Most bipolar people are willing sexual partners and can enjoy themselves, uninhibited. But then there are many folks like this anyway, as well as many folks who have a strong sexual drive. So you pick whether it is the disease or the person. We all have chemistry that drives us, including our sexuality. Again, you chose.